8 Tips When Seeking Spiritual Direction

A good friend shared some thoughts on spiritual direction and I thought they were so good that I got his permission to republish them here.

The author Steve Camilli and I share the same spiritual director and a history in food banking. More than that, we share a deep hunger to see God’s will done in our lives.

Without further ado, here are his eight tips for maximizing the impact of spiritual direction in your life.

1. Pray

Perhaps this goes without saying, but besides praying overall, consider specific prayer ahead of your meeting with your spiritual director for your time together. Pray against any temptations to cancel or avoid your appointment, pray for the grace of being fully transparent, and pray for wisdom and protection for your director.

2. Prepare

This wisdom came from a business article I read about seeking mentorship from a more experienced professional. In the article, it emphasized the importance of:

1. Setting Aside a Time Dedicated to Conversation Prep,
2. Reviewing Notes and Actions from Previous Discussions,
3. Coming Up with a List of Questions/Discussion Topics for your mentor.

This particular author recommended spending 2 hours of preparation for each hour meeting. My rule is that I spend at least 30 prayerful minutes preparing for each meeting with my director. A spiritual director is different than a business mentor, but I found these principles helpful and there is a huge difference between meetings for which I prepare well and those for which I do not.

3. Probe Areas of Resistance

In your prayerful preparation: Is there something you are avoiding discussing or afraid of sharing with your spiritual director? Pray about it and ask for guidance about why. Consider sharing this with your director to achieve full transparency.

4. Pages

Have a specific journal or notebook where you write down learnings/notes from previous sessions and where you write down notes to prepare yourself for your next time of direction. Keep it safe.

5. Pay Attention to Your SD Appointment

Don’t cancel except in the most dire of emergencies. I have fallen into Satan’s trap on several occasions by cancelling a SD appointment for something “important” that came up. If you are considering rescheduling your SD appointment, pray in silence for at least 5 minutes asking for wisdom to understand whether this is the right path to take or if there is an alternative solution to what is going on.

6. Peruse

I have found it very helpful to peruse and review notes from past Spiritual Direction sessions. The Holy Spirit’s teachings don’t grow old. There is gold in those notes from past sessions. At times, I have been blown away by wisdom and learnings from past sessions. I have also been able to understand patterns in my spiritual life, both strengths and weaknesses.

7. Patience

Be patient with yourself as you go through the process of spiritual direction. I have often been frustrated with myself and my failings during my 10 years in spiritual direction. A temptation that has come to me in the past is to criticize myself and fall into a feeling of shame that I don’t want to bring before my director and, ultimately, before my Lord. Don’t fall for this subtle temptation of pride! Your director and the Lord love you so much—be bold and courageous in sharing your failings and be “unashamed because of mercy.”

8. Place the next date on the calendar.

I didn’t used to always schedule my next SD appointment right at the end of our session, and I found that if I didn’t do that, I would often be tempted to postpone it if there was something difficult going on or if I hadn’t been faithful to prayer.

Blessings

I hope this helps. I share it with you out of love for each of you, for your spiritual director and for the service of spiritual direction itself. Take what is useful for you and leave aside anything that is not.